Points to Happiness

As if I hadnt put in such posts before, here is one more.

Here is a few points, which can give me sustained happiness, I think. And I am very serious this time about implementing them.

- Discipline (things must be done as they should be done)
- Will Power (if we want to do anything, it MUST be done; if we dont want; it MUST NOT)
- complete the smaller mundane tasks of life fast, so that you can focus on the bigger ones
- relax your mind, control thought rumination, and breath easy; dont ruminate on work while at home
- give an hour everyday to hobby, like reading etc
- dont be frustrated to do things/tasks, do them cheerfully and happily; if you dont want to do it, dont do it. If you want to do it, then figure out the most efficient way to do it, so that you dont get frustrated, and can complete it in time and with appropriate attention
- GET THINGS DONE
- When you have done all this, you will probably be free to "LOVE THYSELF"
- You are your present, and not your past. Express yourself in the present. Looking at the past and ruminating is also good. But not at most times. Most times, you should be able to relax, and ruminate only at will, when required.

Holding back the past

My actions of keeping bookmarks --- to write somewhere each site I visited -- keeping a blog (one about things, and one about myself) to record all thoughts I have -- to put up many programs I wrote -- to put up all of the stuff that I have put up on website : all these actions are my desire to keep hold of the past, my desire to NOT move on, my desire to chew on the past, and not act in the present; my desire to evaluate choices not by instant decision, but by continued, unproductive rumination of life events.

My tendencies to ruminate on thoughts, seeking pleasure in harming myself and seeking awe; define me.

Can such people be actually loveable?

Although, often I am very emotional. I like seeking and giving love. But these other negative behavioral traits engulf me too often; causing me to appear inconsistent, and essentially repulsive.

decisions, dilemmas in choices

I am caught between two personality types -- the conservative, family-type traditional personal, and the independent thinker.

They contrast sharply.

I dont know where I need to go -- what I really am -- where my happiness really lies.

Now that I have to choose a girl to marry -- I might have to decide. As always, the positives and negatives appear on both paths.

American or Indian? Academic or Business? Family or Friends? Traditional or thinker? Conserve or liberate? Oriented towards the past, or the future? Oriented towards Self or Others?

Others dont think about these issues. Their personality is made from heaven, and they know exactly what they are -- they dont think before they behave, they behave spontaneously.

The biggest hurdle in my life as regards to marriage, is the choice between these attitudes. Because these choices will heavily impact the choice of my to-be-wife, and the continued happiness of marital life....

It would probably have been better, if I didnt even have to think about these choices. Ummmm...or maybe not? Another dilemma..!

-Gaurang.

thinking and being happy

It feels like that I think too much to actually be happy in the conventional ways.

(I know I must have said this a lot of times before)