/me

This blog is not linked from elsewhere on the site. This is a personal diary, where I will write things I wouldnt usually want to tell others. Based on introspection, they are a result of my struggle to cope up with my huge internal problems. For my worldly picture, look at my website and/or my thought blog and/or my commune blog.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

there are 2 parts

(This older post was more detailed on this topic)


I find that earlier I was a regular engineer... just thinking of technology, and how to solve problems, and want to go ahead and go cool stuff that few people can do.

Then suddenly this cultural shock of coming to the US, and being with Milind, pushed me into this "humanities" side of things, wherein I started looking at the world in terms of "psychology", "cultures" and "philosophies".

These two worldviews conflict, hugely.

My functionality in the job scene started going down.

Today after meeting a person in the company who was very fast, as a technical person, I realized my "lost" self.

If I am in the "engineering" self, then I can do my work as an engineer better; life appears simple, and I progress only in the engineering/technological domain. If I am in my "metalife" self (wherein I look at people in terms of psychology/love/spirituality/philosophy), then I can empathize better, understand meaning of life better, understand people's emotional selves, able to look at people internally, vicariously live any person's life, etc.

I want these both selves. I want to be both. I want to somehow combine the best of both selves. I want to be able to switch to either self depending on the situation. I want to mix both in myself.

Everything is damn possible, lets try.

Lets try.

Lets try.

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