Thought Blog

Guarang,

I try to check in on you every once in a while, and now I see that I have gotten behind, because it has been very active lately. I just want to say that I am always refreshed by your outlook, and to keep up the good work. I think you are essentially philosophizing within the the Western Tradition, but always with this question mark of an outsider, as an Indian. You really are up there with the great philosophers. But much to your credit, you are not weighed down by their jargon. Do you still think you are wasting your time with this blog, as you once told me? In any case, I really am glad to have encountered you as a treasure in what seems to me a vast junkyard with mostly ditches.

Hi Ben,

For a day or two, after reading what you said, I felt really elated, and good about myself, and good about my "philosophizing" power.

Then the illusion withered away..

Ben, on reflection I think: I can't think much, I don't know much, I cant really analyze much, I cant even make myself happy, I cant even connect well with people, I dont even know what to do (really), my mind is not focussed, not organized, I cannot execute much, etc. etc. And I think of only myself, with a heavy narcissistic bent, which is why this blog exists in the first place.

And believe me, my analytical skills are good, but not very good: any person on the street can think like this, but doesnt, since he knows this is pointless.

Overall, I dont think I deserve much praise...

Anyway, thanks so much for thinking of me highly. :)

I will keep writing as much as I can.

Gaurang,

At this point I am committed to offering you encouragement whenever I can, because I find seeing a fellow thinker/struggler trying to integrate the "two sides" of himself encouraging. Most just go to one side or the other and don't give it much thought-- they stay with what they're comfortable with. Think about left brain/right brain, engineering/humanities -- it is a much bigger than just your own private struggle-- our entire culture has been split for some time, (some would say centuries) and you yourself, as a microcosm, are only channeling the larger malaise. Whatever stabs you make at that barrier/paradox you keep running into are something that may go towards some kind of reconciliation or peace between two camps/brothers engaged in a long and bitter conflict. I always liked this quote by Simone Weil:

"A man whose mind feels that it is captive would prefer to blind himself to the fact. But if he hates falsehood, he will not do so; and in that case he will have to suffer a lot. He will beat his head against the wall until he faints. He will come to again and look with terror at the wall, until one day he begins afresh to beat his head against it; and once again he will faint. And so on endlessly and without hope. One day he will wake up on the other side of the wall."

By praising, I don't want to bolster those things that you feel hold you back in this life...just want to say that-- uh, obviously you wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth while! You must have some hope or purpose for making your thoughts public. If you think its a waste of time, then stop, but I for one wish you wouldn't.

I could go on, but I too have doubts about whether the battle is worth fighting. On a good day I will be backing you up, on a bad day faint of heart and a coward-- I will likely retreat to the side I am most comfortable with and not engage the other. In working on my Master's in Geography (with a focus on humanistic, "philosophical" geography), I am very much involved in a split between science and humanities. Working in civil engineering, I see such a beautiful and complex world reduced to soulless abstractions, and restricted by bureaucratic formulas and boilerplate jargon. How to infuse life into these projects, this mechanistic order, and to make the world more inhabitable place for the human spirit to breathe-- that is my goal. I sometimes doubt whether the world we have been entrusted as keepers of is worthy of the next generation, my soon to be 4 children. It's the least we can do, for the sake of the future if not for anything else?

I'll be around,

Ben

Hi Ben,

I really appreciate your comments.

You write with a lot of wisdom, knowledge, understanding (practical and theoretical), integerity, energy, spirit, .... I have begun to develop some kind of respect for you ..

Your comment was very encouraging; and makes me want to continue to fight battles..

The divide you talked about is very big and very real -- though we cannot intend to fix the divide, we can atleast ameliorate it around us.

Keep sharing with us, your adventures during your degree, and how you try to infuse life into the mechanistic order... ambitious goal, and I sure agree with you regarding its importance for the future.

Nobel cause indeed.

(feeling sleepy now...)
See you around,
Gaurang