February 2005 Archives
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February 23, 2005

Talking without words

The literal meaning of what we say is only a small part of the information we convey when we talk.

By our presence, by our actions, by our expressions, by our timing, by what we say, by the manner we say things, by what decisions we make, by what we laugh at, by what we get frustrated at, by what we aim at -- by all these actions -- we convey such a depth of meaning about ourselves that the literal meaning of what we actually end up saying is hardly worth considering.

February 22, 2005

Ego - to have or not to have

It appears that one type of worldview encourages the view that one is supposed to have some ego and self-respect, and that others are also expected to have that -- and thus courtesy takes into account this fact.

One another type of worldview, usually in conditions where spirituality or charity or related concepts are a significant parts of life, ego is discouraged, and the ability of a person to consider himself "absent", or not having any presence, is considered desirable.

Although I have always been confused about which is the right path, now I think that even though egolessness fosters harmony and absence of conflict, egoness is a necessary element of the life and society as it currently is, and that it fosters activity, and sustains life if it is exhibited in a controlled manner.

February 16, 2005


Sometimes I feel that it is meaning we are after. And the pursuit of meaning only can give us happiness. All things, when done with meaning, give happiness. Thats for sure. But then, isnt it also true that when we talk with somebody , intimately, we talk of the burdn of meaning? Like how we feel so hard to just keep up with life, and how we sometimes get fed up of the constatn struggle that we need to make in life. Like they way the actors atalked in the movie ?"Before Sunrise"/.

I mean, isnt it that the most intimate talk is the talk of fear about the inadequacy of self? The difficulties we faced in our search for meaning in our lives?

Is meaning really required?

Yup.... because we want to survive this difficult world, and we are limited to such a short finite period of time. This is where the search for meaning comes in.... the desire to spend as less energy as possible, the desire to waste as little time as possible, etc. Looks like we dont want entropy to become larger soon... ;)

February 10, 2005


The desire to create meaning for ourselves is like a reflex action.

February 6, 2005

The future

Our future is an extrapolation of our past.


The clock slowly and steadily keeps ticking by, and we keep going in our persistent search for meaning in our lives -- trying to make it feel it was worth it, and that we were worth it.

February 1, 2005

st louis

Just had a nice time at Chinki Didi's (my bhua's daughter) living at St Louis, Missourie.

Went there, and experienced a first time snowfall!!!

Other than some sightseeing wherein I saw the Arch (went to the top), and went to see bro's university - "Washington Univ in St Louis" and yes one ice skating show, I spent most of the time with Sis, Jiju, and their little child.

It was a trip well worth going, meeting family is one of the best things that one could do...!!!

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