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August 15, 2004


"Look, I said that. You didnt believe me. You didnt think I was worthy. are wrong, I was right."

"He doesnt pay attention to me. What does he think of himself?"
"He doesnt pay attention to me. Am I that bad?"

"I want to cry."

"See I can play. I am not as dumb as you think."

"See I have so many friends. And you have so less. Are you a loner or something?"

"Will I be good enough? Will I be good enough to fulfill this expectation?"

"Look this is more fun. See I know how to have fun. See I am more valuable."

"Look how smart and able I am. I can do this."

"He only thinks of himself. How selfish?"

"What do I care?"

"I dont care."

"Look ma, I am normal. I can do whatever people my age, my situation can usually do. For somethings, more. I know as much as they do. In somethings, more. I can earn money, and raise a family as other people can. I am not a dumb, retarded person. I am competent. "

"Are you happier with me? No? Even I am not happier with you."
"Are you happier with me? No? Ummmmm....Ummmmmm.....Ummmmmm"

"I am now more competent than before. I can do more. I am more capable. I am more knowledgeable. I have done this, and I have also done that. I am of a higher worth. Wow. I am happy."

"Hmm. I didnt think of that before. Because of what I did, all people can do things better. Their lives have improved. I have really increased my worth. I am really happy...."

"See now you can do more with my ideas. See, I am valuable..."

"See people, I have choices. I have preferences. I exist."

"I need to get in touch with him. I need to keep in good terms with him. He will be valuable to me later to achieve my goal. My goal of making my life better. Better means, more money, more security, more ways to have fun, in short, better in obtaining whatever I will so desire of."

"I need to meet him. I need to talk to him. I will feel better."

"I can be happy without you all. I dont need any of you. I am happier alone. I am not weak. I can survive."

"I cannot be alone. Hey, can you be with me? Please can you be with me? I really need you."

"Hmm. Let 4 of us all be together. Lets fulfill something we all want to do together."

"I am one of the better ones around."

"I am not one of the better ones around."

"Wow. This makes me happy. Lets do this."

"I really wanted to do good to him. If he doesnt want it, then why do I care?"

"Hey I feel good with you all. Lets go."

"Does he look at me?"

"Hey, he doesnt know as much as the other people in the meeting. He is a failure."

"Now I am impacting the company a lot. Now I am of a higher worth and am more meaningful. Now I can survive better and easier too. Wow."

"How can he treat me this way? What does he think I am. A person to be ignored?"

"He will be happy if we do this, if we do this. Lets do it."

"I know of a way to be happy. I will try to share it with people, so that they can be happy too. Lets share happiness."

"And this will continue. I am happy."

"I want to live."

"I want to be happy."



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