feeling down
It feels like I am now becoming more and more content with my dullness.
Am I heading out in the right direction, or a worse direction?
Earlier I used to be charged up about improving, and abotu counter attacking my problems like dullness etc. I used t build up entusiasm and energy in myself, so that other people liek me. But in the past few days, it appears that I ahave become tired. Now I dont want to do anything. I feel content with what exists. I am now not lifting up the cell phone sometime. Sometime I dont do anything. I feel strangely okay with whats going on. Do I have to always pester myself to action and energy? I know that it has been good, because action and energy is something that is good to transfer within groups. And we make relationships based on that. But how much should we try to change ourself. How much should we just be ourself, and how much shoudl we try to change ourself. My response to emails, and my keeping up with daily activities has also reduced. I feel like doing nothing. My mind goes off in weird directions, and I forget to do basic things, like fulfilling basic tasks like replying to mails, filling forms, phoning friends and relatives, getting up in the morning, doing things which I want to do.
Now what I want is only bliss -- doing nothing. Just settle down and do nothing.
Is it that I am going back to depression?
Is it depression at its best?
This reminds me of the days when I was having trouble with completing basic tasks. Those days are back.
Life needs so much motivation... where should I gather so much motivation?
However, probably just my mood isnt great today. Sometimes when my mood is great, I am as happy as anybody could be.
The thing is I need to discover myself and my path.
Then I will get back my motivation as well as happiness as well as energy.
Yea yeah, I know I am putting unnecessary conditionals on something I must do now.
Like a child, who postpones that he will do his homework only after he fills up ink in his ink pen, which never comes soon.
Am I heading out in the right direction, or a worse direction?
Earlier I used to be charged up about improving, and abotu counter attacking my problems like dullness etc. I used t build up entusiasm and energy in myself, so that other people liek me. But in the past few days, it appears that I ahave become tired. Now I dont want to do anything. I feel content with what exists. I am now not lifting up the cell phone sometime. Sometime I dont do anything. I feel strangely okay with whats going on. Do I have to always pester myself to action and energy? I know that it has been good, because action and energy is something that is good to transfer within groups. And we make relationships based on that. But how much should we try to change ourself. How much should we just be ourself, and how much shoudl we try to change ourself. My response to emails, and my keeping up with daily activities has also reduced. I feel like doing nothing. My mind goes off in weird directions, and I forget to do basic things, like fulfilling basic tasks like replying to mails, filling forms, phoning friends and relatives, getting up in the morning, doing things which I want to do.
Now what I want is only bliss -- doing nothing. Just settle down and do nothing.
Is it that I am going back to depression?
Is it depression at its best?
This reminds me of the days when I was having trouble with completing basic tasks. Those days are back.
Life needs so much motivation... where should I gather so much motivation?
However, probably just my mood isnt great today. Sometimes when my mood is great, I am as happy as anybody could be.
The thing is I need to discover myself and my path.
Then I will get back my motivation as well as happiness as well as energy.
Yea yeah, I know I am putting unnecessary conditionals on something I must do now.
Like a child, who postpones that he will do his homework only after he fills up ink in his ink pen, which never comes soon.
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