afraid

I am afraid of people. I am afraid of what people would say. I am afraid that people wouldnt like what I do or what I say. And this fear makes me do exactly the things they wouldnt like.

Its a strange but familiar situation. This fear causes situations which cause the fear to sustain. So it is not possible to come out of it. One way that looks good is to pretend that such a situation does not exist, and so get the fear out and then hope that such situation will never occur again.

But this is not easy.

With a non-existent courage, with a non-existent confidence, with a non-existent will, with non-existent anxiousness, I hope I will be better someday.